Hand Dryers of the World

It seems apt that whilst reviewing this fat, silver oaf, I noticed that some talented young pen-user [may or may not have] scrawled their la...

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I once had a friend called Harold. We've all had a friend like him haven't we, eh? Yeah, we've all had a friend like Harold. You...

This cheeky-chappy of a dryer comes complete with instructional descripto-words: "Move hands and Comfortable hot air will be sent out a...

It seems prudent to note, fellow faithful Hand Dryer hunter, that moments after discovering this hand dryer, indeed seconds after taking the...

What did I do, mm? What was it that I did to the designer of this hand dryer, eh? Did I smack him in the chops? Hm? Did I find his mother an...

This surprisingly sexy sans-style substance-shell is a fucking pleasure to encounter. Rip the whole lot off the wall and take it to your gra...

Garish, crusty, piss-stained, out-dated and frankly bizarre, it's probably about time that Bruce Forsyth died. As for the Supremette, I...

"Danny?" "Yes, Adrian?" "My hands are awfully clammy." "Are they, Old Chap?" "Yes indeed they a...

It looks like it would be happier sucking brains out of chickens, but this ain't just Darth Vader's jock-strap. Stick your dumb didg...

Shit weasel shit weasel shit weasel shit weasel shit weasel shit weasel shit weasel shit weasel shit weasel shit weasel shit weasel shit wea...

Self-adhesive postage stamps, Peter Jackson's old cheeks, dead fish in a man's pocket, soggy beans, tricky pieces of the elderly, de...

"...it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the Airstream 3000, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most exce...

Is this some sort of fucking joke? Can be found: London School of Economics Student Union, London, England Auto: Yes Rating: 8/10

Mike Reid reincarnated - gruff, loud, old fashioned and ultimately quite racist. Can be found: The White Horse, London, England Auto: Yes Ra...

"And God said, "Let there be the Dyson Airblade, which will harness cutting edge HEPA filtration technology to blast purified air ...

Walking into any toilet to see an Initial hooked up to the greasy tiles will never fail to make me smile. Smiling, sadly, is not a recommend...

Like slicing the skull off a spaceman, sticking your fists up his damn neck-hole and warming your hands over his last gasping throat-gases. ...

Contrary to the instructional diagram on this dryer's housing, a portal by which to contact God this ain't. That said, it is nice. N...

Stick a knife in your own dumb throat and drive a motorcycle over a cliff, screaming. Or use this hand dryer. It's up to you.  Can be fo...

Who lives in this daft, silver house? A fucking idiot, probably.  Can be found: The Waggon and Horses, Brighton, England Auto: Yes Rating: 3...

If at some point in your life, you are woken every morning for a whole week by the shrill scream of your lover as he or she gleefully jabs y...

The AirMax (having conquered the world of sporting footwear) marches about the place like a buffed-up, sexy gloss-ball. This is the more suc...

A bit like spending two minutes intermittently laughing and vomiting in five second bursts. The inconsistency of this shit dryer made me sna...

The Vortice Automatic positions you within a circle of your closest friends, all of whom are chanting your name in a low, hushed voice as yo...

Despite the name resembling something more akin to a brand of rectal-hose, this hand dryer has one shiny spout. Shiny like the glare of the ...

Welcome, if you will, the bastard son of a Dust-Buster and an Apple Mac. I didn't blink, I didn't cry, I didn't smile, but ultim...

It felt like pressing my hands against a fat dog's back beside an empty tunnel. Made me lose faith in humanity. Can be found: Le Royal C...

Graceful, confident but undeniably modest. The brushed aluminium will bring memories of the cold winter of 1992. Very much the 'Sunday...

Like engaging in conversation with an anorexic kettle in a coma - weak, hot, unresponsive. Can be found: Savarin Caf é, Prague, Czech Republ...

Classic, strong, romantic even, the World Dryer represents unashamed masculinity in hand dryer engineering. Pressing the hard, strong reflec...